you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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