summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
