It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
