Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The power of my boobs compel you
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
