I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
