What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
