Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
