I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We don't watch enough power rangers
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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