You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
