Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
