the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He told me they were just razor bumps!
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
