It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
