Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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