Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
