____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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