i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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