FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
