Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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