Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I intend to get homeless drunk
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
