Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
My liver just had a heart attack.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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