It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
