All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
