I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Redeem this text for a blowjob
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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