I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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