I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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