Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
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