she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
