Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I have already put on my inside pants.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
