Moan for me like Helen Keller
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
