Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
