What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
