some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
