windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Randomize
