Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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