Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
