And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
