I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
