are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
