Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
