i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
