my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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