She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
