you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
