I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
