Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
