So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
