sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
