just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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