I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
