I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
