Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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