so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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