Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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